Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I, Here am I; send me.

I know many times we go through life and wonder what is God’s will for us. What is God’s will for me. Am I living in God’s will? Earlier this evening I had what I believe to be an awakening from God, through a TV show.  I felt an urgency, a burden like I’ve never felt before. a burden for missions.  Missions isn’t just for that country that is way across the world, in the middle of the jungle, with cannibals. Missions can be anywhere, anytime, any place.  Your grocery store can be a mission field for you. Your church youth group is another mission field. Mexico, China, and the United States are a mission field. Your family is one as well. We, as Christians are commanded to Go! “Go ye into all the world and preach the gospel….” We need more people though, that are willing to heed to the commandment. We need more people to go, like in Isaiah, “Here am I send me” God’s pleading for people to go and He can’t find anyone. Will you go? Will you obey? I understand that not everyone is called to another country but we are all called to preach the gospel. How can we sit and tell other’s what to do when we ourselves can’t even obey God’s commandment? All I’m asking of you is to ask God where He wants you to be.

“Lead me Lord, I’ll follow”

Sometimes we sit and wonder if this is all there is? If this is all we are here to do? I catch myself thinking this at times and I don’t see what is going on or how it will end and just wondering why am i here? Why am I going through this? Why is it always me? I know if we were really honest with ourselves a lot of us would say we have been there. But there are reasons and answers to the why’s of this life.  Where you are at in your life at this moment is shaping who you are to help that one person that is sitting on the edge of suicide, that one person that is struggling with God, that one person that may need you to be strong for them in that one moment that they need someone the most. You will be that person at that time. I know right now it doesn’t seem that way. I know right now, you may just want to give up and throw the towel in.  As soon as you do throw that towel in, think about that person that will need you down the road. Will you let that person down because it’s too hard for you? In times where we are asking why this or why that are the times that we need to be clingling to God in prayer and meditation. In those moments of weakness, we trust God and when we trust God, He becomes our strength to get through those times. When you look back and see where you came from you can thank God and see that there was a reason for me to go through that situation.  Whether it be faith dwindling, cancer, countless hospital stays, and so on.  There are people that depend on you to count on God through the tough times.

Originally posted by Cindy

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Originally posted by Cindy

Originally posted by Cindy

If you don’t like the person you are, chances are high that any relationship you are in or get into will fail. In order for a relationship to flourish and to grow, a person needs not not only like themselves but also to love who they are. Loving yourself is paramount to having a successful and loving relationship.

The divorce rate today is higher than at any other time in history. People marry for the wrong reasons, they marry the wrong person, and more so, they marry too soon. Not only do they not know they person they marry, they often don’t know themselves or even like who they are as a person.

Many divorces occur because incompatibility. But how can a couple become so incompatible when they loved each enough to marry? How could a marriage that started out with such love, and perhaps still have the love, go so wrong? How can two people who perhaps still are so much for each other end up not liking each other or themselves?

Often the problem lies in an area that’s least expected, with ourselves. We simply don’t like who we are and we strive to become who the spouse wants us to be, rather than just to be ourselves. This can be manifested in several ways. Women get breast enhancements, even though they are beautiful as they are. Men take pills to to enlarge parts that are absolutely fine as is. Another man gives up his particular favorite pastime and does only what the spouse likes to do. One woman goes and buys herself an entire new wardrobe of clothing trying to look sexier for her husband. Still another spouse gives up their entire existence and becomes a virtual clone of their spouse, trying to be exactly like them in an effort to feel more wanted and loved. Another woman wants to control everything her husband does, telling him how to act, think, dress, work, who his friends are, etc. All of these relationships are doomed because the people in them simply do not love themselves.

Before embarking on a relationship, we need to learn to love ourself first. Self love doesn’t mean that we love ourself over another. It means we love and accept ourself as we are. It means we don’t change who we are, our very identity, in order to please another. It means we work to grow and if something in us needs changing, we work to change that something, not for another person but to better ourselves.

To be truly happy in a relationship with another person, we have to be happy with who we are as a person. We can’t not like ourself and expect to be happy. We can’t be at odds with ourself and who we are and be happy. We can’t pretend to be something or someone we are not and be truly happy or love ourself. We can’t be happy and at peace if we are living in the past and not accepting ourselves as we are. But when one has had a troubled past, how can they learn to love who they are and find that happiness?

The answer is learning to let go. Letting go of what we cannot change or undo is a first step in releasing the past to be just that, the past. No matter what happened, what you did, what someone else did, it’s all gone. Instead of punishing yourself for what can never be changed or relived, allow yourself to forgive and move on with life. Punishing yourself by denying yourself happiness and love won’t change anything that’s already happened.

We have all done things and had things done to us that hurt. Sometimes we won’t allow ourselves to be happy or to love ourselves because we think that in loving ourselves or being happy, it diminishes what we did or what was done to us. We think that we deserve to be unhappy or feel unloved and unwanted. We have the mindset that whatever happened in the past is reason for us to keep our present and future miserable, thinking that’s payment for a past we can’t change. Nothing can be further from the truth!

Not allowing yourself to be happy or love yourself as you are is not hurting someone from the past, but it is hurting you and probably someone that cares deeply for you. Punishing yourself for something that’s gone isn’t the answer. Letting go, forgiving, moving on, learning to really like yourself, and being happy with the one that truly cares for you just as you are, that’s where it’s at. Remember that a person who truly cares for you won’t ever hold the past against you, and you shouldn’t hold it against yourself either.

Now is the time to start loving yourself. Focus on what YOU like about yourself, not what anyone else thinks. Remember that in learning to love yourself, you aren’t out to please the rest of the world, just yourself. If you find something that you don’t like about yourself, work on changing that. But only do it for you! Allow yourself to be yourself! Don’t try to be someone you’re not or something you’re not. Be happy with how you look, how you think, how you feel, how you love, how you believe, etc. Realize that you are a beautiful person and allow yourself to see that beauty in yourself.

When you feel you are ready for a relationship again, don’t go for someone who wants to change you. Don’t go for someone who makes you feel that you aren’t good enough as you are. Don’t get involved with a person that won’t allow you to be yourself. Don’t go for someone whose idea of love is for you to lose your identity in order to make them happy. Go for the person that accepts you for you, all of you, as you are. Go for the one that makes you feel like you can be yourself, that isn’t out to change you, that loves you exactly as you are, that listens to you, that understands you, that wants you for you, not some fantasy they want to fulfill.

In learning to love yourself, you have to see and believe that you are loved as you are, that you are wanted as you are, that you are beautiful as you are, and most of all that someone is wanting someone just like you. When you realize that you are indeed lovable as you are and you love yourself, that feeling will carry over into your relationship. The confidence you have in yourself will enable you to love the other person as they are and to accept them as they are, making for a relationship that will go the distance and withstand the storms that come in life.

Originally posted by Cindy

Originally posted by Cindy

Forgiving ourselves isn’t always an easy thing to do. We have regrets, feelings of guilt, wishing or thinking we should have done this or that differently. Sometimes we think that if we had acted differently or made another choice, that somehow situations might have turned out better. Sometimes that’s true, but nothing can change the past. We have to learn to forgive ourselves for things we can’t change or undo, whether it’s for intentional actions or otherwise.

One of the hardest things to forgive ourselves for is the feelings of guilt over what might have been or could have been. Often we think that if we had done so and so differently, that perhaps the outcome would be different. And while often it’s possible there could have been another outcome, more often than not the outcome would have been the same. But even if it wouldn’t have been the same, we can’t change the past. So why do we beat ourselves up over things that can’t be undone? Why do we allow ourselves to experience such guilt over things? And most of all, how do we forgive ourselves for what our minds perceive as unforgivable?

The first step to forgiving ourselves is to realize that whatever we did or didn’t do can’t be changed. It doesn’t matter if the thing we are having guilty feelings over is something we actually did or something we think we could have done differently. Hanging onto feelings of guilt won’t change the past. Holding onto guilt over something will not undo the past or things that happened. It’s time to let it go, to move on, and to live again.

Some people find it difficult to leave the past in the past. They need something physical to get rid of or throw away, and memories simply are not physical. One idea is to make the thoughts and memories physical, giving something tangible to throw away, and in a way this shows that ‘something’ was gotten rid of. But how do we make thoughts and memories tangible?

Get a small box, such as a shoe box. Make sure it has a top or can be closed and sealed. For every bad thought, for every feeling of guilt or feeling or what you feel you cannot be forgiven for, write it down on a piece of paper. Put the paper in the box. Once you are finished, close and seal the box. All the guilty feelings you carried in your heart are now in the box, out of your heart, no longer able to burden you down with feelings of being unforgivable.

What you now do with the box is up to you. You can choose to hold onto those feelings, leaving the option to reopen the box and letting the guilt out and back into your heart. Or you can choose to throw out the box, throwing away all of the guilt that you carried. Some people actually bury the box, laying to rest the past and all the hurts. Some throw it out with the trash, tossing out all of the bad. And some keep the box, reopening it and allowing all the guilt to come back inside of them to live again.

We don’t have to live with guilt. We can control our own thoughts and actions. We choose to do this or that. But we cannot control the choices that others make or the things they do. We can choose to live with guilt, never forgiving ourselves, or we can choose to move on, admitting that we are just human and that sometimes humans do fail and do mess up.

Forgiving yourself, letting go of the guilt, it won’t change the past. But it can change your future.

Originally posted by Cindy